Annual Review

I saw this topic being discussed on another horse forum and I thought it was funny.  How would your horse rate you at your annual review?  I'm going to do an overall group rating from the residents and we'll see what they think of the job performances of Jason and I as their slaves caregivers.

Core competencies:

Grooming: 
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

We are definitely rated a needs improvement in this area.  I have yet to have one of the horses act like they are thankful that today was their day to go in the barn and be groomed, bathed, have their mane tidied up, get body clipped or otherwise be cleaned up.  I would say we are given an overwhelming NEEDS IMPROVEMENT in this area from the horses.  Maybe one day we'll catch on to the fact that they like being dirty.  The one exception to this was my mare Bridget.  She truly disliked being dirty and never, ever rolled in mud, she always rolled in good grass.  She would have given me an "exceeds expectations" rating in this area.

Riding abilities:
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

In this category I think we are clear winners and exceed expectations.  No one is ridden - perfect!  Some of the residents would be fine for very light riding and many of our lovely owners have made the offer to me to hop on anytime I would like.  I always appreciate the offer but no way am I interested in hopping on a herd bound horse that has not been ridden in a long time (as in months or years) and going for a ride.  I did make the mistake once with one of the residents that I thought would be well above acting like a herd bound, mannerless, I have no idea how to behave undersaddle, scream my head off horse but even he proved me wrong.  Thus, we absolutely exceed expectations in this category.

On time completion of scheduled activities, farrier, vet, vaccinations, de-worming: 
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

I think we would rate at meet expectations in this category.  Unfortunately the horses do have to suffer through seeing the farrier every few weeks and they do see the vet for vaccinations, teeth floating, and for any non-routine care needed.  But I think we balance out these rude intrusions on their schedule by doing a great job of hiding their wormer.  Since we feed everyone well soaked feed we simply put the wormer in the feed, mix well and serve.  They never even realize it is in there.  

Level of endearing comments regarding said equines, both online and in person: 
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

I think the best the horses could rate us in this category would be meets expectations.  Unfortunately I have mentioned some of their antics from time to time on the internet such as complaining about having to be groomed, see the farrier, etc.  However we do balance this out by also stating on the internet how wonderful they are as well.  So I think they would find our levels of effort acceptable but certainly not in the category of exceeding expectations.

Stylishness and comfort of transportation rig (trailer / truck):
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

I think the horses can have no complaints here.  They have a variety of transportation options.  When we moved to the new farm they rode in fine style on a shiny semi to their new digs.  From time to time when we need to transport a horse they have a choice of a Featherlite stock trailer or a straight-load Trail-Et gooseneck trailer so everyone's preferences can be accomodated.  

Number of treats per interaction: 
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

I am pretty sure our residents would rate us low in this category.  Although we often come bearing food and treats, we don't usually continue to hand out the treats after the initial one.  Even if we kept stuffing their faces after the first treat it probably still would not be enough to satisfy them.  However I am stickler for manners so I do believe in one or two treats and then done unless there are exceptional circumstances.  If there were a category worse than needs improvement, maybe one titled "you suck at this" that is where we would actually rate.

Cleanliness of stables and pastures:
A: Needs improvement
B: Meets expectations
C: Exceeds expectations

We are sticklers for clean stalls, and what horse could complain about big pastures with lots of shade, shelter, and grass?  Well, the grazing is not up to our usual standards this year but hey, when you working on a 20 inch rain deficit there is not a lot you can do about it.  Last summer we had lots of rain and the grass was almost out of control in some of the pastures.  The horses could not keep up with it and we did not have time to mow 150 acres on the almost weekly basis that it was needed.  I think any horse would give us top rating in this category.

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That sums up our annual review from the horses.  Do you agree with our guesses at our ratings?  Would your horse give you a positive annual review, would he think you worthy of a raise or promotion?

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Romeo and Titan grazing in a pasture that exceeds expectations

Tony and Thomas

Murphy, Wiz and Dutch

Murphy enjoying a good, dirty roll

Apollo, Hemi, Thomas, Moe and Homer dozing under the trees

Thomas and Hemi are BFFs

Noble and Thor doing some sunrise grazing

Walden and Fabrizzio

Lucky, Slinky and O'Reilly